EP 39: Trusting Intuition Choices, Dating and Children with Sonja Ecklund
Sonja’s ability to listen to herself and trust her intuition is truly inspiring. I always get so much out of my conversations with her, she is such a gem.
Validating choices, online dating, trusting intuition. Discover ways to approach having safe conversations with people who choose to not have children. Sonja Ecklund, a returning guest on the show, is a National Board Certified Health and Wellness Coach who creates assets for people to use in pursuing their best, most authentic self.
In this episode, Sonja is wonderfully open about her decision to be child-free and some of the judgment and misconceptions that come along with it. She knew from an early age that she didn’t have the same pull as some of her peers did toward motherhood and she speaks to what it means to listen to yourself and trust your intuition.
“It was less of a conscious decision and more of just an intuition, a deep knowing that that was just really never something I personally needed in my life.”
As a person who works hard to recognize and honor their own needs, Sonja finds it difficult when people question her personal choice of being child-free, and talks about how societal expectations influence what people think “okay” to ask someone.
She has found that some people wrongfully assume that since she is choosing not to have kids it means that she doesn’t like them. Sonja talks beautifully about the role she can fill in the lives of her friend’s children, and the way she can step in as support and mentor. Being able to choose how and when she is involved allows her to show up as her best self for those around her.
And while Sonja is fully confident in her abilities to be a good parent, she doesn’t feel like she would be living her fullest or most authentic life becoming one.
“I think that I would love my child, but I don’t think I would love myself in that process.”
Sonja is deliberate about choosing a life that prioritizes tranquil living and truly loving and trusting yourself. She notes that finding a place where you can sit comfortably with your thoughts without judgment is one practical way to work toward living an intentional life.
Because of her self-assuredness, Sonja prefers a bold, more direct approach to sharing her values within the world of online dating. Since making the choice to be child-free, she makes sure to present that in the forefront to ensure she’s spending her time connecting with people who are in alignment with what she envisions her future to be.
“Recognizing what you need might be different from what your partner needs or your kids needs or anything else. But you need to honor those needs first so that you can serve other people.”
Within the realm of relationships, Sonja highlights the value of vulnerability and reciprocity to create an intimate and emotionally supportive dynamic. She talks about the importance of being curious about your partner and committing to making them feel seen and heard. She and her partner ask each other, “How can I love you better?” which can present an opportunity to speak to any conflict or challenges without assigning blame, and allows the other person to take ownership of what they need.
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