EP 41: Postpartum Changes And Realities: Bleeding, Body, Breastfeeding, Hair, Sleep and Sex
As the year is wrapping up I thought it would be fun to dedicate the next few episodes to reflections on experiences and concepts that have impacted me in the last year. First up, postpartum changes and surprises. It’s basically impossible to imagine what postpartum is going to feel like and every experience is different, but here are 10 takeaways that I wish I’d known.
Expectations Vs. Reality
“Breastfeeding is not a straight line.”
Expectation: Breastfeeding is binary, it either works or it doesn’t. I knew I want to try to breastfeed, but I also was open to it not working for my baby or body and finding alternatives, that was the mentality I had going into postpartum.
Reality: There might be ups and downs and easier and harder moments points throughout your breastfeeding journey. Breastfeeding started out easier than I expected but after a couple of months something switched and it became more difficult. Finding a balance between pumping and nursing helped everything go more smoothly. After about 5 months my son only wanted to nurse and lost interest in bottles. Long story short, what helped me was listening to my body, my emotions, and my baby and changing course as necessary.
Takeaway: Long story short, what helped me was listening to my body, my emotions, and my baby and changing course as necessary.
“Postpartum hair loss is REAL.”
Expectation: When I was pregnant my hair was the best it had been in years! Maybe good hair will stick around after I give birth?
Reality: About 4 months postpartum, my hair started falling out by the fistful. It covered the shower floor after a shower or if I ran my hand through my hair I’d end up with a clump in my hair. It was overwhelming and hard not to wonder just how much would fall out before it stopped.
Takeaway: Rest assured, in my experience postpartum hair loss does stop after a couple of months! Take a moment to pamper yourself with a hair mask and take your vitamins. If you have any questions make sure to ask your doctor!
“Blood clots, to the extent that I had them.”
Expectation: Bleeding postpartum is normal for vaginal births, and could last 6 weeks or more.
Reality: I expected to have some bleeding and it lasted longer than I thought it would, but what surprised me more was the several very large blood clots that I passed.
Takeaway: Again, talk to your doctor for further information about what is normal for you and your body! Just know that the body does some wild things postpartum and you are not alone.
“Prepared for the pain of peeing.”
Expectation: Peeing for the first time will be painful after you give birth. I gave birth vaginally and I expected after that experience that there would be some pain.
Reality: Pain lasted much longer than past the first pee or the first day postpartum. It took a couple of weeks for swelling to go down, stitches to heal, and to not feel pain or discomfort while sitting or getting up to stand. Peri bottles, ice pack pads, and soothing wipes are your friend!
Takeaway: It took a couple of weeks for swelling to go down, stitches to heal, and to not feel pain or discomfort while sitting or getting up to stand. Peri bottles, ice pack pads, and soothing wipes are your friend!
“Temperature changes in my body.”
Expectation: I’ve always been cold and I never thought that would change.
Reality: Pregnancy started the temperature change in my body and it definitely continues after delivery. While pregnant, I would get so hot at night and didn’t want to sleep with blankets (and my HUGE pregnancy pillow probably added some heat too). Postpartum I would find myself sweating while everyone else in the room was chilly.
Takeaways: Hormones will definitely make your temperature fluctuate, not to mention all the other changes in your body!
“Cry at everything now.”
Expectation: Okay, to be honest, I’ve always cried pretty easily.
Reality: That said, I cry at everything now! Happy, sad, overwhelming, and beautiful. I feel even more connected to my emotions now.
Takeaway: I believe big feelings are a superpower. I think being a sensitive person is something to celebrate, now I just take extra time to check in with myself and respect when I need to give myself some extra care. Meditation has been helpful!
“My feet are bigger.”
Expectation: I like my old shoes!
Reality: My feet grew like half a size.
Takeaway: I guess it’s time to go shopping! My sister will be happy, she will give my pre-pregnancy shoes a good home.
“Nervous for sex.”
Expectation: The first time having sex postpartum is going to hurt.
Reality: It was better than I expected but I was surprised how nervous I was going into it.
Takeaway: Go slow, respect where you are, communicate, and use a lot of lube.
“Experiencing baby blues.”
Expectation: A couple of days after giving birth you may feel down. A guest told me this and I was happy they did. Your hormones are shifting so much postpartum and this can be a normal response.
Reality: I definitely experienced this. Overall I didn’t experience any lasting postpartum anxiety or depression but I definitely felt some shifting in my emotions.
Takeaway: Have a support system in place to you help you. Whether it’s feeling off for a couple of days or experiencing postpartum anxiety or depression, it’s important to know that you don’t have to do this on your own, you are not meant to! Mental health is so important and I found friends, family, and therapy all helped in different ways.
“We hit a wall.”
Expectation: Sleep deprivation is normal.
Reality: You will find you are able to operate on less sleep than you ever imagined AND there is no replacement for sleep, your body needs it. I heard “sleep when the baby sleeps” over and over but in reality that didn’t really work for me. I’m not a napper and I also needed time to eat, sleep, shower, and decompress. It was hard to figure out how to balance it all. Exhaustion snuck up on me but once it hit, I couldn’t ignore it anymore.
Takeaway: Sleep is incredibly important and sometimes the best way to take care of those around you is to take care of yourself. It’s important to try to constantly get 6 hours in a row. I’m not going to lie, sometimes that felt impossible but having people around who you trust who can take a shift so you can sleep helps a lot.
Postpartum is beautiful but so much. Be gentle with yourself, you got this!
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