EP 31: Adoption, Self-talk, And Writing a Memoir with Jill Larson
Jill is an incredibly special person. I found our conversation thought-provoking, grounding, and full of great reminders.
Personal realizations, writing your memoir, and mentorship. Learn about the adoption process and a mother’s first-hand tips on how to prepare for the journey.
Actress Jill Larson and I had an intimate conversation about our experiences with the concept of “birthing”, how our own mothers affect our parenting styles, the challenges, and self-forgiveness within parenting. Even before adopting her daughter, Jill possessed a natural maternal instinct toward her friends and the three younger sisters, and you can hear just how caring and thoughtful she is throughout our talk. She shared details of her memoir, The Birthing of a Mother, which tells the story of her realization that she wanted to adopt a child and the journey leading up to and then after the adoption.
“I do sometimes wonder what exactly is that experience of giving birth,” Jill mentioned, “I do think about it, I don’t suffer or mourn the absence of it.”
She explained that the process of adoption comes with its own set of experiences and speaks beautifully about the trip to China served as her labor experience.
After an FBI background check and tons of paperwork, a dossier was submitted for the adoption. A long wait commenced until she finally received an update on the status, including a picture of her 4-month-old. Jill spoke to the emotions that came up seeing her daughter’s photo for the first time. She recounted the emotions that arose during her trip to meet her daughter, and the profound and immediate sense of protection and motherly care she felt upon holding her child for the first time.
Being a mother herself, Jill has learned to reflect on her own experience with her mother. She described how her mother’s behavior showed signs of postpartum depression and the effects that had on her childhood. She tells the story of a cathartic moment she had with her mother years later. Jill recognizes just how easy it is to self-condemn yourself as a parent and now has a tremendous amount of compassion and appreciation for her mother and what she did provide.
“There’s a profound and infinite opportunity for self-condemnation as a mother.”
Jill and I dive into the challenges and the importance of positive self-talk, letting go of catastrophic thinking in parenting and trusting that it will all be okay. Jill turns on a Tara Brach podcast when she needs something to ground her, and mentions a recent episode that really spoke to her.
Though she never imagined becoming a single mother, and she wouldn’t want it any other way. Now that her daughter is grown and building her own life, Jill’s bandwidth has opened and she’s turned to mentoring others to fill her time and share her incredible wisdom.
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